11 Rules of Nicaragua

Whether you’re traveling through Central America for fun or volunteer work, you might want to consider these 11 rules. I developed this list based on my 1 month experience in Nicaragua. (Masaya, Granada, San Juan, Diriomba, etc.) .

1.   Don’t you dare leave your bag unattended!

Everyone knows that you’re a gringo (North American) with an iphone and other expensive stuff. Someone will take your goodies in a second… don’t give them the opportunity. I was in a café one time and I put my bag down to pay for my drink, when I turned back around I noticed 3 school boys surrounding my bag. They immediately ran out of the café once I saw them.  People get stuff swiped out their hands too. My friend and I were walking home one night and a man on a bicycle came from behind and knocked her wallet out her hands in an attempt to steal it. Be careful of your valuables!

2.   There’s always room for more

If you take public transportation in Nicaragua, don’t be surprised if a fat Nicaraguan ass is plowed into your face while you’re sitting down. There is no such thing as “no more space”. This one time I was in a public van that was built to seat 16 people… we somehow managed to fit 25… don’t ask how. Let’s just say that someone had to hang out the door for the duration of the trip.

3.   Nicaraguans fall in love quicker than they can speak.

If you show any interest in a Nicaraguan, they will throw the “L” word at you before you know their last name. I’ve heard of multiple instances where a man got proposed to by some chica they barely knew. CREEPY.

4.   Watch where you step!

The streets in most cities of Nicaragua are basically obstacle courses. Flustered with horse shit, random holes, and sleeping dogs… there is no telling what you could step in. My friend almost broke an ankle because she stepped in a hole while walking carelessly. Once again, be careful!

                                    

5.   LADIES: Be prepared to be sexually harassed

You know how when a pretty girl walks past some construction workers, the construction workers all holler something sleezy toward the poor woman? Imagine a country where there are sleezy construction workers on every street corner… except that they’re not working. All of my amigas get hollered at least 5 times a day. Comments range from “Where are you from baby?” to “I LOOOVE YOUR PUSSY”, all said in Spanish accents of course. One of my friends got her ass slapped by a man on a bike. If you think you're ugly, come to Nicaragua! Random men here will appreciate you <3

6.   Don’t eat street food

“Mmmm, those quesadillas look good, I think I’ll get one.” WRONG. THINK AGAIN! Most street food is prepared on a car grill by people who don’t wash their hands. You will most certainly get diarrhea if you eat street food. MARK MY WORDS!

7.   Make friends with locals, they know what’s good.

A local can tell you which streets are safe, how much you should pay for a taxi and other vital information that could save you a lot of hassle, money, and danger!

8.   Bargain!

Venders know that you are a gringo with a little extra cash. They will try to take advantage of you. When I buy something on the street, I cut the price in half and work from there. Initially, they might not want to sell it to you, but if you play with the price a little more you can still get a good deal. Also, keep in mind how much the product is actually worth and how badly the vender needs to sell it.

9.   DON’T EXCHANGE MONEY AT THE AIRPORT

The airport in Managua rips you off. I made the mistake of exchanging 250 USD at the airport. Big mistake. The exchange rate they gave me was 20 cordobas for every 1 dollar. FUCKING BULLSHIT. I found out later that you can exchange your dollars at a bank for 24.5 cordobas for every dollar. I lost 1000 cordobas ($40) from a $250 transaction. I suck.

10.               Order the National Beers

If you want to save money, order the Tona or Victoria. They are usually half the price of other beers. FYI :Foreign alcohol is more expensive than that in the US! 

                                                         

11.               FOLLOW THESE RULES

If you decide to come to Nicaragua, follow every rule here and you will be okay. If you don’t, you will die. Painfully.