11 Rules of Nicaragua
Whether you’re traveling through Central America for fun or volunteer work, you might want
to consider these 11 rules. I developed this list based on my 1 month
experience in Nicaragua. (Masaya, Granada, San Juan, Diriomba, etc.) .
1.
Don’t you dare leave your bag
unattended!
Everyone
knows that you’re a gringo (North American) with an iphone and other expensive
stuff. Someone will take your goodies in a second… don’t give them the
opportunity. I was in a café one time and I put my bag down to pay for my drink,
when I turned back around I noticed 3 school boys surrounding my bag. They
immediately ran out of the café once I saw them. People get stuff swiped out their hands too.
My friend and I were walking home one night and a man on a bicycle came from
behind and knocked her wallet out her hands in an attempt to steal it. Be
careful of your valuables!
2.
There’s always room for more
If you take
public transportation in Nicaragua, don’t be surprised if a fat Nicaraguan ass
is plowed into your face while you’re sitting down. There is no such thing as
“no more space”. This one time I was in a public van that was built to seat 16
people… we somehow managed to fit 25… don’t ask how. Let’s just say that someone
had to hang out the door for the duration of the trip.
3.
Nicaraguans fall in love quicker
than they can speak.
If you show any
interest in a Nicaraguan, they will throw the “L” word at you before you know
their last name. I’ve heard of multiple instances where a man got proposed to
by some chica they barely knew. CREEPY.
4.
Watch where you step!
The streets
in most cities of Nicaragua are basically obstacle courses. Flustered with
horse shit, random holes, and sleeping dogs… there is no telling what you could
step in. My friend almost broke an ankle because she stepped in a hole while walking
carelessly. Once again, be careful!
5.
LADIES: Be prepared to be sexually
harassed
You know how
when a pretty girl walks past some construction workers, the construction
workers all holler something sleezy toward the poor woman? Imagine a country
where there are sleezy construction workers on every street corner… except that
they’re not working. All of my amigas get hollered at least 5 times a day.
Comments range from “Where are you from baby?” to “I LOOOVE YOUR PUSSY”, all
said in Spanish accents of course. One of my friends got her ass slapped by a
man on a bike. If you think you're ugly, come to Nicaragua!
Random men here will appreciate you <3
6.
Don’t eat street food
“Mmmm, those
quesadillas look good, I think I’ll get one.” WRONG. THINK AGAIN! Most street
food is prepared on a car grill by people who don’t wash their hands. You will
most certainly get diarrhea if you eat street food. MARK MY WORDS!
7.
Make friends with locals, they
know what’s good.
A local can
tell you which streets are safe, how much you should pay for a taxi and other
vital information that could save you a lot of hassle, money, and danger!
8.
Bargain!
Venders know
that you are a gringo with a little extra cash. They will try to take advantage
of you. When I buy something on the street, I cut the price in half and work
from there. Initially, they might not want to sell it to you, but if you play with the price a little more you can still get a good deal. Also, keep in mind how much the
product is actually worth and how badly the vender needs to sell it.
9.
DON’T EXCHANGE MONEY AT THE
AIRPORT
The airport
in Managua rips you off. I made the mistake of exchanging 250 USD at the
airport. Big mistake. The exchange rate they gave me was 20 cordobas for every
1 dollar. FUCKING BULLSHIT. I found out later that you can exchange your
dollars at a bank for 24.5 cordobas for every dollar. I lost 1000 cordobas ($40)
from a $250 transaction. I suck.
10.
Order the National Beers
If you want
to save money, order the Tona or Victoria. They are usually half the price of other beers. FYI :Foreign alcohol is more expensive than that in the US!
11.
FOLLOW THESE RULES
If you decide
to come to Nicaragua, follow every rule here and you will be okay. If you
don’t, you will die. Painfully.
